Dripping River Water


On AC transit April 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Maceo Cabrera Estevez @ 5:36 am
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Today I was glad I took the bus.  Not the car that I don’t have.  The car that I would drive by myself, listening to music and daydreaming of days to come.  Today I was glad that it took me 45 minutes to get home.  I was glad to talk to people.  I was glad not to have that car that I am saving up for.  The one that I would drive by myself and not get the messages I needed.

It was windy today.  I shivered at the bus stop while talking to an older lady.  She told me that God was everywhere.  We stood next to each other and she told me about all her travels.  Connecticut to LA, back to Connecticut because of the Watts riots, Ohio, Atlanta but she never told me how she made it to Berkeley.  She took me to the time when she worked during World War II.  She showed me the men who lost their legs.  She introduced me to the women that used the veterans for their measely pention.  I heard songs and trumpets play.  All this on the corner of Sacramento and Dwight.  The bus came and she asked about my plays.  She asked God to bless me and I thanked her.

Another older lady with braids sat next to me.  I saw her this morning.  We greeted each other and watched the woman with a cast come on the bus.  She sat in front of the woman next to me, the woman with the braids, and she told her about her life.  Told her about the boyfriend who smokes her money away, about the time she got jumped in his building.  She told her about not having a mom since she was seven and listened to the woman with the braids when she told her to have patience, to leave the man, to take care of herself.  The woman with the cast said she just wanted a hug and a kiss.  I looked out the window knowing that I should listen to these words of patience.  I knew I wasn’t really part of the conversation.  I couldn’t help but smile every once in awhile.  I couldn’t help wanting to give her a kiss and hug.  I didn’t though and I wonder if that was wrong.

I really try to forget about my childhood poverty.  I try to forget that drugs exist, that people take them, that people die.  I try to forget these things with my gluten free crackers.  When I was a kid I didn’t even know what gluten was.  I think back to my car accident last summer, the accident where I lost the car.  I think about the lesson I needed to learn.  I always think of all the reminders I get that I am just an inch away from poverty again if I don’t get my act together.  I have a master’s and I still act like I am on welfare.  Well, when I am not eating my organic foods.

I’ve been learning about patience everywhere.  Another message on the bus.  When people ask me how I am doing, what projects I am working on I just tell them that I am waiting.  I am learning how to wait gracefully.  I’ve been struggling with my writing.  Even being inspired to write this blog.  Then I took the bus today and words were being written while I watched cars go by and and trees with vibrant green leaves.  I am thankful that I can now see the light in my situation.  Thankful for all the blessings taking a bus brings me.  Sometimes it takes me a long time to learn my lessons.  At least I learn them.

The end.


One Response to “On AC transit”

  1. Debbie B Says:

    I like your essay…I hope you don’t mind if I post it to the AC Transit facebook page.
    We love pieces that show how AC Transit is an integral part of the community.

    Debbie Benyahia
    AC Transit External Affairs

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