This morning I woke up writing in my head. That is a blessing. I wrote a rough draft and cried a little. It was a beautiful way to wake up. My son slept beside me snoring between snacks of my milk.
One morning I woke up to a dream that I didn’t understand. My son, not Omar Ali, but the first whom I miscarried, came to me in my dream. If he would have lived he would have been almost 20 years old. A young man with light brown hair and olive tone skin; he is handsome and likes to wear flannel. He walked into my dream and said, “Mama, I am up.”
I awoke immediately and looked at Omar sleeping in my arms. I knew this young man in my dream wasn’t suppose to be Omar older, it was my first, a soul who keeps on growing. I keep thinking of him not understanding how he appears to me that old. I don’t understand the spirits of the dead ones and the ones who were never born. I don’t understand why he told me he was up.
There is an unseen world that many of us do not want to ever see. I used to when I was a child but it scared me. I forced myself to stop. Now I try to imagine all the angels around me. I try not to think of jinns that want to hurt me. I don’t know what they look like. I want to feel the angels. When I think of them the world seems a little more peaceful with millions of angels spending their time in gratitude.
It is 2012, the first day of this gregorian year. I knew I had to write down my goals quickly.
1-Be more grateful. Find solutions to the complaints. Love the moment I am in. Be thankful first.
2- Write every day 5-60 mins. Even a few words will be get me closer to completing a body of work. When my heart gets all tied up, cry and keep on writing. Be grateful for this gift of words.
3-Be gentle with myself and those around me. I spent too much time last year hating myself for my imperfections. They are all blessings that have built my character.
4- Run. Physical activity is good for my heart and brain. It is good for my entire body and spirit. It is good for my family.
5- Love. This action stands alone and can make beautiful changes in one’s day.